A new scandal broke yesterday in the Mark Driscoll (megachurch pastor) saga. Apparently, in 2000, he posted on a church message board using a pseudonym, and wrote that women are homes for a man’s penis. I wish I was joking. You can read the excerpts for yourself.
The first thing to know about your penis is, that despite the way it may see, it is not your penis. Ultimately, God created you and it is his penis. You are simply borrowing it for a while.
While His penis is on loan you must admit that it is sort of just hanging out there very lonely as if it needed a home, sort of like a man wondering the streets looking for a house to live in. Knowing that His penis would need a home, God created a woman to be your wife and when you marry her and look down you will notice that your wife is shaped differently than you and makes a very nice home.
Therefore, if you are single you must remember that your penis is homeless and needs a home. But, though you may believe your hand is shaped like a home, it is not. And, though women other than your wife may look like a home, to rest there would be breaking into another man’s home. And, if you look at a man it is quite obvious that what a homeless man does not need is another man without a home.
Paul tells us that your penis actually belongs to your wife, and once you are married she will trade you it for her home (I Corinthians 7:4), and every man knows this is a very good trade for him to make.
With his penis, the man is supposed to learn to please his wife and learn how to be patient, self-controlled and be educated on how to keep his home happy and joyous (I Corinthians 7:3). The man should be aroused by his new home, and the wife should rejoice at seeing his penis rise to greet her (Song of Songs 5:14b).
I was speechless for a good hour after reading this. THIS is why we need feminism in the church. Because pastors, PASTORS, are spewing out crap like this. Men in the church believe vile nonsense like this. Saddest of all? There are women in the church who buy this ideology as well. It makes me want to weep.
Here is what I do know about women: WE ARE IMAGE BEARERS OF GOD (Genesis 1:27).
I dare you…I triple dog dare you…to look up at God Almighty and suggest that He is a penis home. Go on, I’ll wait here.
God is not male or female. God is more than we can imagine. We use the “He” pronoun because we have no pronoun that accurately describes the divine. But it’s clear that He/She is male and female if we are both made in the image of God.
She did not create me to be a penis home for men. He created me for a divine purpose. She created me for relationships – for caring, loving, sharing, growing, learning, and experiencing everything that being alive can offer. Yes, sex is part of that experience, but it’s a small part of my human experience. I should enjoy sex. Sex should be joyful, fun, and fulfilling. I am, however, much more than the physical pleasure I share with someone.
I am a co-heir in Christ. I am a spiritual equal, not merely a device to keep men holy. I am so offended at that idea. All Christians should be helping each other be holy. We should be encouraging one other, praying for each other, uplifting one another, and gently correcting with scripture.
There are verses in the Bible that apply to married couples about not using sex as a weapon against each other, to not withhold it as a punishment, which is emotionally damaging and cruel. But nowhere in any of scripture does the Bible say women are houses for a man’s penis. NOWHERE. That is not my purpose.
Driscoll’s comment even imply that unmarried women are just future houses for some other man. We are merely chattel in his mind…future property to be bought, sold, and managed at all times. Our bodies are the property of some man, even if we don’t know him yet. It’s dangerous thinking and it feeds right in to rape culture.
My body is mine. ALWAYS. I may share it, I may give it to someone to be enjoyed, but ultimately it’s mine. No one has the right to take from it, or use it without my permission, not even the man I call husband. Not ever.
It is not my responsibility to manage any man’s sexual purity. It is not my responsibility to manage any man’s sexual thoughts, or help him control them. That is individual spiritual work. Let’s also focus, for a moment, on the fact that these statements reduce men to being simple creatures, driven entirely by their sexual urges. Here you are, fellas, a thing with a penis and your entire purpose is to find somewhere to stick that penis. Um..no, just no.
Men, you are more. Don’t let these people speak for you. Don’t embrace these ideas. You, too, are image bearers of God. Created for life and experience, for learning and growth. You are capable of sexual control. To place the responsibility for your sexual thoughts, urges, and actions on a woman, diminishes you. Can you see that? Be more. Rise the challenge of exceptional humanity.
I hope Mr. Driscoll finds the help that he needs. I don’t relish in his downfall. I don’t find joy in it. I am repulsed by his ideas. I am repulsed by his behavior (and abuses of power in his church), but he is still a human being in need of love and forgiveness. As are we all.
His skewed thinking is just one example of why the church needs feminism. We, collectively, as brothers and sisters in Christ need to affirm the equality of women in God’s name. We need to root out these ideas about a woman’s worth and purpose. We need to shed light on this darkness and drive it out. The church needs to embrace the truth of God’s duality. Those words in Genesis are not a mistake…male and female, they were created, image bearers of God.